  | Feisty teenager Grace finds herself left homeless by mysterious concequences and makes unlikely friends with a stranger who calls himself 'Vincent'. A year on she still struggles to find where she belongs. And it turns out it might not be the place she thought it would be... |
Monday, May 30, 2011
5. Sparkle by Argent-chan
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"It was very simple and sweet story and it was easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteIt has some minor spelling mistakes."
-Anonymous Judge
"-Grammar is your friend. If there is one single thing that can throw me off while reading, it is consistent grammar and spelling mistakes. They were many and they were plentiful. The story was cute, I loved it, but it get's really hard to get absorbed into it when I'm constantly being distracted. The story is a beautiful scenic road, but I wish some time had been taken to pave over the gravelly grammar.
ReplyDelete-The art looked wonderful. I could nitpick about some minor errors that I saw (OMFG the sprites are hovering!!!), but the argument really wouldn't hold water and just be whining. It work, and worked well.
-Interface was Novelty default. Nothing wrong with it, I'm just not a fan of it. Not being able to scroll back irritates me, especially trying to review certain areas, but that is a fault with Novelty, not the creator.
-The music category has me pretty far on the wall. The music was good and fit the sections it was placed in -most- of the time. There were some bad transition points that caught me off-guard and didn't flow smoothly, in addition to the volume blowing out my eardrums. The other thing that keeps me from saying the overall music category was good was the use of copyrighted music. It worked very well, was blended in seamlessly, and overall did great wonders for the visual novel. But it still is copyrighted music that shouldn't be used without consent from the original source.
-Overall, the story suffers from some minor blemishes on superficial details like music timing and bad grammar, but the core of the story shines brightly. If these dents and dings were polished out, I would say that it has a lot of potential to be a great short love story. Right now, sadly, it has enough distractions to jar you out of the story, so I could only place it as average."
-Anonymous Judge
"-I recommend a beta reader to check grammar, spelling, and punctuation. :)
ReplyDelete-The Girl Who Leapt Through Time!! I remember that song from the movie, lol. Great music. :D
-I like how the story was short and sweet. I also enjoyed how it flowed from present to flashback to present, in a way that drew me into the story without confusing me too much. ^^
-Overall, great work!"
-Anonymous Judge